


Shellshocked

by churb



Series: everyone is a crystal gem and nothing hurts [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Minor Violence, everyone is a crystal gem and nothing hurts au, lapis' mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 22:16:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4642098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/churb/pseuds/churb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU where the Homeworld gems are Crystal Gems, members of Rose's team from the beginning. </p><p>Today, they explore an old relic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shellshocked

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i realise that lapis and jasper are good friends in this au. i do not mean to invalidate or make light of the abuse lapis suffers at the hands of jasper in canon. this is an au and it's different.
> 
> ok i've got that cleared up so nobody can sue me

“What even is this place?”  
  
Under his feet, there’s moss and what look like long stringy plant stalks. Steven steps over them and silently wishes he hadn’t worn sandals. He debates asking if one of the gems could carry him, but decides this isn’t a good time.  
  
“I’m glad you asked, Amethyst!” Pearl seems chipper, as she usually is whenever anyone asks her a question. “This was one of our hideouts during the war. This was where we’d group together and strategize. After that all ended, Rose kind of turned it into a garden.”  
  
“Rose turned everything into a garden.” Amethyst brushes a stem out of the way. Behind her, Lapis rolls her eyes.  
  
“Gee, I wonder why. It stands to reason that _Rose_ would have a _flower motif_.”  
  
“No need to be salty, damn. I just-- ah, ow.” A thorn scratches Amethyst in the face, and she rubs at the spot with her hand. “What’s with the thorns? I thought Rose was supposed to be, like. A pacifist or something.”  
  
Peridot briefly looks up from her touchscreen. “They’re roses, genius.”  
  
Pearl continues, blissfully ignorant to such carnage. “Somewhere in the middle here should be a communication hub. We also had an underground area for storage. And hiding, occasionally, but it was a bit cramped.”  
  
“By Pearl standards. Imagine trying to fit me in there.” It’s Jasper, this time. Steven looks up at her and tries to imagine fitting her in any sort of constricted space.  
  
“Jasper had a bit of trouble with the ceiling, yes. But it was reasonably protective. Of course, I didn’t spend much time in there myself. I spent more time outside! With the action, as it were.” Pearl lets out a nervous giggle.  
  
“Yeah. Part of the knight shtick, I’m sure.” Amethyst rolls her eyes. Pearl goes blue.  
  
“That knight shtick saved Rose’s life. On numerous occasions. But never mind all the details. It’s an important part of gem history, hence why I brought you along! Somewhere around here should be the hub, and hm. Let’s see. I’m sure we used to have somewhere to store our weapons--”  
  
There’s a small pond near where they’re walking. Steven only notices it as a small ball of water lifts itself from it and hits Pearl square in the face. He briefly wonders how it got there.  
  
Pearl splutters.  
  
“Anyway, as I was saying. We had a storage unit, for our weapons! In actual fact, I think Rose may still have some of her armour in here! It would be amazing if we could find it, after all this ti--”  
  
Sploosh. More water, this time aimed more at Pearl’s temple, and she bats it away irritably.  
  
“Lapis, please. I know that’s you, and I am _trying_ to educate Steven on important aspects of our history. Just because you weren’t there.”  
  
“Yeah, well, like half of us weren’t there. Don’t need to be stuck up about it.”  
  
Ah, yes, Steven thinks. The moment in the mission where Amethyst and Pearl start fighting.  
  
“I’m not--” Pearl takes a deep breath. “I am trying to _answer your question_. That you _asked_. It’s not my fault if you don’t want to listen.”  
  
Peridot perks up a little at this. Her screen fades, and she catches up to Pearl, nudging up to her side. “Go on, Pearl. I was listening.”  
  
“Thank you, Peridot. I’m glad _someone_ appreciates my efforts, at least-- What is it.”  
  
Looking behind him, Steven is met with Amethyst making some sort of pffffffft noise. Lapis seems to be holding in her laughter, with some difficulty, and drapes herself across an equally amused Jasper’s arm, resting her chin in her hands and batting her eyelashes.  
  
“ _I_ was listening, Pearl.” It’s a crude, dramatic imitation of Peridot’s voice. “I listen to _every_ word you say. I just _adore_ the way your voice sounds when you talk about smart things.”  
  
Pearl twitches. Behind her, Peridot turns a fetching shade of green. Jasper lets out a choked noise.  
  
“Thank you, Peridot. At least someone likes listening to me reminisce about the glory days of seeing Rose Quartz’s ass in a metal skirt.”  
  
Amethyst loses it completely. Lapis seems to have equal difficulty, burying her head in her arms and managing a stream of giggles. Behind her, Garnet manages a smirk.  
  
“It’s hardly funny, you two!” Pearl clenches her hands into fists. Peridot moves over, patting her back gently as she continues. “I am _trying_ to educate Steven about his _culture_ and it’s not my fault if you can’t be bothered to take it seriously!”  
  
“Yeah, lay off.” Peridot continues the petting.  
  
Garnet had been silent up to now, just quietly walking and observing, but now she moves forward a little, putting a hand on Lapis’ shoulder and carefully moving her off Jasper. “As entertaining as this is, Pearl’s right. I’m sure Steven would find this very interesting if we all took it seriously for a second.”  
  
A pause.  
  
“That was pretty funny, though.”  
  
Pearl stares at Garnet for a moment, before shrugging, turning back around and continuing to walk. The others follow after her, and Steven takes another opportunity to look around. “As I was saying. Rose may well still have her armour down here. I’ll see if I can still fit into mine.” A nervous chuckle, and the conversation was over.   
  
“I’m still kinda lost about the thorns.” Amethyst’s comment had a certain irony to the timing; behind her, Lapis steps in the wrong place and winces, lifting her foot to inspect the damage. Pearl bites her lip.  
  
“Yes, well. I did say she planted flowers.” Pearl looks down. “And like all her flowers, they kind of went a little wayward after she, eh.”  
  
She doesn’t finish that sentence. There’s an uncomfortable silence.  
  
“She wanted to brighten it up, or something. Said she didn’t want it to feel depressing.” Jasper leans down and scoops Lapis off the ground, sitting her on her shoulder. “Come here, idiot, you’re not wearing any _shoes_.”   
  
Lapis settles herself, buries herself in Jasper’s hair, and mumbles something that sounds like “I am untameable.”  
  
“I don’t care. You’re gonna cut up your feet walking on all this crap. Didn’t we give you shoes? How come you never wear them?”  
  
“I just don’t like them They’re uncomfortable.” It’s muffled, again from the hair, but Jasper seems to be able to hear her, at least.  
  
“Yeah, well, I don’t like you bleeding all over the place.” Jasper rolls her eyes. “You think you can endure the shoes for my sake?”  
  
“Or you could just carry me.”  
  
Jasper shrugs, letting out a small chuckle. “Alright, I guess that works too.”  
  
Lapis pulls back from the hair, sitting up properly, and smiles.   
  
It’s about that moment that a pincer claw reaches out from the depths and pulls her straight off Jasper’s shoulder.  
  
Lapis screams. The other gems are on guard, then, summoning their weapons (Pearl finishes hers with a graceful but unnecessary twirl) and Jasper runs straight into the foliage, pulling out her helmet as she goes. Garnet, now fully equipped with gauntlets, takes a few steps forward, almost running after her but not quite.  
  
“Jasper! You can’t just run in without us--”  
  
She’s cut off by the sight of another pincer claw flinging Jasper back at worrying speed. The larger gem hits the ground with a soft grunt, skidding for a while and generating a surprising amount of smoke (steam? something? Steven couldn’t tell) before she pulls herself back up and fixes her helmet.  
  
Pearl is aghast.  
  
“Why is there a monster here? This is our old shelter! This is Rose’s building!”  
  
“Yeah, well, it’s here. And I’m dealing with it.” It’s oddly sharp. “Get Steven out of here.”  
  
“What? No!” Steven pushes past Pearl, who is at this point preparing to pick him up, and runs up to where Jasper is. “I can help you guys! I’m a Crystal Gem too!”  
  
“I know. I know, okay? But it’s huge, Steven. And it’s got Lapis and I’ll be damned if it’s taking you too!” The last part was more yelled; Jasper throws herself back into the surrounding bushes while the other gems look on in mute horror. This time, Garnet’s recovered from whatever shock she was previously suffering from, and turns to the remaining group. “Don’t just stand here. Amethyst, take Steven home. Pearl and Peridot should come with me.”  
  
“What? Why me?” It’s Amethyst’s turn to look aghast now. “You think I can’t come in there and fight some dumb crab with you?”  
  
“It’s not personal. Peridot and Pearl have more long range weapons. Your input will be appreciated when you come back. Just get Steven out of here!” It’s a little more forceful, this time, and Amethyst sighs, dragging Steven back to the warp pad, much to the latter’s protests.  
  
“I can help! I could be really useful!” Steven fidgets a bit. “Come on, Amethyst, you don’t want to go home either!”  
  
“Garnet might be right on this one, buddy. Your weapon is kind of a shield.” Technically, Steven thinks, it was Jasper who made the suggestion, but he decides not to mention this.  
  
“Aw, come on.” But Amethyst doesn’t yield, unfortunately, and Steven is escorted back to the warp pad and safely poofed back home. Amethyst stares at the space for a while, before turning around and running back to the action.  
  
\--  
  
By the time Amethyst gets there, the battle is going very, very badly.  
  
The first thing she notices is Lapis laying on the ground, and she can only assume she’s unconscious. Peridot and Pearl are held in a pincer claw each, and are viciously attacking at the wrists (wrists? do crabs have wrists?) to no avail. Garnet and Jasper are at the legs, and Amethyst privately thinks the spiel about long range weapons was a load of bullshit when their own answer to the problem was punching and headbutting respectively.  
  
“Alright. Stevie’s home, I’m here. You guys need some help?” Amethyst runs forward, summoning her whip again and attempting to lasso a leg. The crab monster retaliates; armour of some kind expands from the outside of its’ leg (nifty, really) and, as Amethyst’s whip is wound so tightly, poofs it into dust. She summons it again, frowning.   
  
“It’s got some kind of armour thing. I can’t hit the legs.”  
  
Pearl struggles in the pincer, looking desperate for a moment, before she evidently has some sort of minor epiphany, summoning a spear and throwing it down to Amethyst. She catches it, looking at it with an air of puzzlement before looking back up at Pearl.  
  
“Use your whip. If it does it again, jam the spear in between the armour.”  
  
“Wow. Okay.” Damn. Maybe Pearl did say useful things sometimes. Amethyst pulls her whip back and lassoes the monster in the leg again. The armour expands, yet again, and Amethyst shuts her eyes and throws the spear.  
  
The monster screeches.  
  
Gross, it’s bleeding. The spear poofs and the crab hops from leg to leg, clearly agitated by the injury and slamming the pincer containing Peridot against the wall in the process. A soft “ow” is audible.  
  
“Guys.” Amethyst turns her attention to Garnet and Jasper. “Stop punching it. There’s no point. You have to take out the legs first.”  
  
Jasper pauses mid headbutt. “Yeah, what do you think we’re doing?”  
  
“No, with this.” Pearl drops a spear, completely missing where Garnet and Jasper are supposed to be, and Amethyst runs over and narrowly catches it. “The armoured segments have gaps between them, I believe.”  
  
Amethyst throws the spear to Garnet, who looks it over before directing her attention to Jasper. “Go and see if Lapis is okay. I’ll help Amethyst take out the legs.”  
  
Jasper seems almost glad for the opportunity. She immediately drops what she’s doing and runs over to Lapis, kneeling down.  
  
It really doesn’t take much effort to take out the legs. Amethyst and Garnet work in tandem, lassoing and spearing one after the other, with small breaks that were as long as it took for Pearl to summon another one. Peridot focuses her attention on attempting to take the monster out with her laser, to no avail.  
  
“How is this thing immune to lasers?”  
  
Garnet thrusts the spear into the leg and is about to reply, before noticing the crab doesn’t seem quite as agitated as before. She takes a closer look, puzzled, only to see the resulting wound (the spear was long gone) heal up and fade.  
  
Garnet groans.  
  
“It’s impervious to our attacks. The only option we have is to take out the gem.”  
  
Amethyst stops. “The literal gem? We’re gonna shatter it?”  
  
Garnet shakes her head. “We’ll try not to. I was more thinking about separating the gem from its’ physical form. It may just be unstable enough to work.”  
  
“Oh, really.” It’s Peridot again, from as high up as she is. “And tell me, have you done that before?”  
  
Garnet stiffens. “That’s none of your concern.”  
  
The rest of the team get the overwhelming impression that Garnet doesn’t want to talk about it.  
  
After the resulting awkward silence, Garnet steps back, studying the leg for a moment. “We need to work out how to topple it. The gem should be on the underside.” She takes a few steps further in an attempt to confirm this, before a third and frankly unexpected arm comes down and snatches her up. Amethyst yelps, putting her hands on her head, and Garnet struggles a little. “Amethyst.” She says urgently. “Do something.”  
  
“Obviously! Like what?”  
  
“Agh.” Evidently the hold is too tight for Garnet. She struggles a bit, clearly in pain. “Just work out how to topple it.” By now, Jasper has apparently realised that things have gone badly, and stands, checking to see that Lapis is in a safe position before activating her helmet and running on back in with what could be easily described as a battle cry.  
  
She then proceeds to get swiped up too.  
  
Amethyst puts a hand on her forehead, clearly dumfounded. “Four??? _Four_ arms? Really? Come on!” She throws a hand down in utter desperation, before summoning her whip and heading a little closer.  
  
“Alright, ugly. This is where things get messy if you don’t drop my friends!” A whip attack in a vague sense of upwards does nothing, and Amethyst frowns, attempting to work on the legs again, seeing if a variation in height would do anything. This only results in angering the monster, and it swipes down a claw at Amethyst, knocking her into the wall and giving Garnet dreadful vertigo in the process. Amethyst is less deterred, running back over only for it to swipe at her again. It’s different, this time; the wrist has a long spike on it, just above the claw (was that always there? who knew) and it attempts to spear Amethyst, who narrowly avoids it by ducking out of the way.  
  
The monster tries again. Amethyst runs.  
  
By now, everyone’s yelling at her, offering suggestions or motivation or generally just yelling her name. Lapis remains in the corner, still unconscious (she must have been hit hard) and Amethyst looks around desperately.  
  
“Just...just quit it okay! Stop yelling at me!” She’s never been left like this in a battle before, expected to take out a nigh immortal monster head on, and this just induces a panic attack. Amethyst buries her forehead in her hands, somewhere between frustrated and terrified.  
  
“I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how to fight it, okay! Why won’t it just _die_!”  
  
As if to answer her question, the monster falls over.  
  
Amethyst stops, then, looks back up, and as the claws release, the other gems fall to the floor, confused. A pink, striped shield rolls innocently off the monster’s shoulder and into the wall, where it dissolves into a mass of brightly coloured pink sparkles.  
  
Everyone very slowly turns around.  
  
Steven punches the air triumphantly. “Wooooo! Frisbie shield!”  
  
There is utter silence.  
  
Steven lowers his fist. The smile is gone, and is replaced with a look of worry and vague regret.  
  
“Steven.” says Garnet, quietly. “We told you to go home.”  
  
“I did! And then I decided that I...I wanted to come and fight with you anyway! You’ve got to stop leaving me out of things! I’m a Crystal Gem too!”  
  
Everyone just stares at him. Steven puts his hands on his hips, frowning as he continues.  
  
“And I’ll be _ten_ in July.”  
  
From down by the unconscious form of the crab, Jasper starts to laugh.  
  
The other gems turn to her, and Pearl frowns. “What’s funny?”  
  
“You have to admire the resolve.”  
  
It’s Amethyst’s turn to speak up, then. “And he did kind of save our butts. Like, majorly. I kind of froze up there.”  
  
The stares continue. Peridot is apparently still too fazed to talk.  
  
Amethyst carries on regardless. “And he hit it in the head. With his shield. I mean come on! That takes some crazy skill.” She moves over, puts her arm around Steven. “Don’t get mad, guys. He took the initiative and. Kind of saved the day.”  
  
More stares. Amethyst swallows.  
  
“...Look, I’m not good at speeches, okay.”  
  
At least this gets a smile. The group climb out of the wreckage, and poofing and bubbling the monster is short work. Garnet takes care of that, while the others trek over to Lapis.  
  
By now, she’s just starting to open her eyes. “Ugh.” She sits up, rubs them, and stares at the group slightly vacantly. “What did I miss?”  
  
“Steven did something cool.”  
  
Lapis gives a small, faint smile, pulling herself up off the ground. Pearl rushes over to help her.  
  
“Finally. Good to see you stopped being lame.”  
  
“Hey!” By now the group have started to move, chuckling to themselves, and Steven, indignant, runs after them. “Lapis! Guys, stop! That’s not funny!”  
  
The wreckage remains, huge dents in the walls and floor, as the gems make their way out. Garnet’s voice is faint, being rather a lot in front of Steven, despite his best attempts at catching up.  
  
“It was a little funny.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> shellshocked because CRAB PUNS. IT'S A PUN. CRABS HAVE SHELLS. GET IT.
> 
> ok maybe not


End file.
